In this edition of Author Talks, McKinsey Global Publishing’s Vanessa Burke chats with Olympic gold medalist and entrepreneur Mark Tuitert about his book The Stoic Mindset: Living the Ten Principles of Stoicism (St. Martin’s Essentials/Macmillan Publishers, Spring 2024). Tuitert explains how applying Stoic principles (see sidebar, “Ten principles of Stoicism”) can help build resilience in the face of adversity. The Stoic mindset can also inspire purpose, strengthen character, and create more meaningful connections. An edited version of the conversation follows, and you can also watch the full video at the end of this page.
Why did you write this book, and why now?
I’ve been discussing Stoicism a lot. As a former Olympic athlete, I found solace in it. Today, I use it when speaking. People always ask, “Where should I start reading about Stoicism?” My answer is start with Meditations by Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, Letters from a Stoic by Lucius Seneca, and Epictetus’s writings.
I decided to write this book because I wanted to delve into my personal Stoic lessons and draw from my stories. Stoicism offers an excellent perspective in a world where so much is happening, and people are attempting to take a grip on the lives they’re leading. I want to lean into that and show individuals what it means to adopt a Stoic practice into your life.
The world seems more chaotic than ever—there are environmental crises, political crises, and even wars. It’s hard for people to remain mentally balanced, and I relate to that.
It’s up to us to live with purpose and meaning. If we don’t make that conscious decision, we are led by externals such as social media, other people, and other situations.
I struggled with emotional balance. I wanted to win an Olympic gold medal, but I couldn’t control certain situations, which caused stress. I couldn’t control my competitors, and I couldn’t control my parents’ divorce. Therefore, I decided to apply Stoic lessons.
It’s best to start with the initial principles that aren’t focused on making money or becoming happy. Instead, those principles ask, “What does it mean to lead a good life?”
You can control your inner mindset even though the world may feel chaotic. It’s up to us to live with purpose and meaning. If we don’t make that conscious decision, we are led by externals such as social media, other people, and other situations.
It helps to separate your mindset from external factors. Stoicism calls this “the dichotomy of control.” It’s understanding what you can and can’t control in your life, and that conclusion creates peace and calmness. Some things happen outside our control, but we have the power of our internal state of mind and can lead from our principles. Ask yourself what’s important to you and what character you want to develop. Those are things you can control.
When did you begin to apply Stoic principles?
The Stoic mindset puzzle pieces came together a couple of weeks before I won an Olympic gold medal in 2010, even though I had been learning about Stoicism for ten years.
I overtrained in my early twenties, which completely wore my body out. Since I couldn’t train, I read; that was the first time I discovered Marcus Aurelius’s beautiful text, “The impediment to action advances actions. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Overtraining wasn’t the end of my situation or my career. Instead, it was a signpost that led to finding a new direction in life. Fast-forward to several years later when I faced an Olympic final. The stress was high, and everyone was watching me on television and in the stadium. The pressure was on.
I hadn’t skated in the Olympic Games in 12 years. Instead, I had been training for an event that only lasted less than two minutes. That’s the time it takes to skate an Olympic 1,500 meters. I began to ask myself, “What if I fail? What if I place fourth or fifth? Will it have been worth it?”
We all think like athletes or businesspeople; we’ll be happy if we have great results. I learned that isn’t how Stoics think about happiness. I read, specifically Seneca’s writings, before the games, and he discussed showing courage, the internal state of mind, character-drivenness, showing up, and giving everything you have. Don’t worry about the outcome of this race; instead, consider how you show your character and courage.
Put effort into whatever you do, whether an entrepreneur or an employee. When you give effort, it becomes personal. When you feel fear, still give everything that you have. For me, learning that opened space in my mind and heart. Before the race, I told myself, “When that gun goes off, give everything you have.” I gave everything because I’ve trained hard and want to be courageous as I go into battle. Winning wasn’t up to me. The only thing that I controlled was my effort.
Which Stoic principles do you use the most and why?
I use all the principles because they interact with one another, but as an athlete, I used principle three: “Win by not focusing on winning.” Winning is the goal for athletes and businesses. There’s nothing wrong with setting a high bar and wanting to reach it or dreaming big. That is motivation. The problem arises when that motivation consumes us. We believe that we must focus on and control winning, when in fact, we cannot. We focus on outcomes that aren’t up to us. The only elements we can control are the processes and deliberately making great choices every day. I focused on becoming a better athlete, and you can focus on being better at what you do. It’s an important principle I still adhere to.
Another principle that I often use is principle eight: “A map is good. A compass is better.” The Stoics often discussed finding one’s place and role in life. We all have a role to play.
We focus on outcomes that aren’t up to us. The only elements we can control are the processes and deliberately making great choices every day.
Once I left speed skating, I suddenly had to find a new direction in life—to set another goal and go for it. After a few years, I realized I wasn’t invested in the route or the goals. I reflected on what I was doing versus my key values—philosophy, history, sports, and autonomy. My values fit a life of taking risks, being an entrepreneur, and starting my podcast.
Everything revolves around sports, what I do, and the philosophy I write about. I didn’t study philosophy, but I use it in my life, which ties into principle ten: “Actions speak louder than words.”
How has your life been enriched by applying these principles?
Principle three says, “Judge less but understand more.”
I missed the 2006 Olympic Games, the second one I missed. I had been training for eight years without contacting my father. Practice was going well, but I wasn’t skating fast. Something was missing, and I wondered what was wrong. Like the Stoics, I reflected on my emotions, and I discovered that I carried anger.
My parents were going through a divorce, and I didn’t speak to my father for six years. I thought about Epictetus, a famous Stoic teacher, who said, “We suffer not from the events in our lives, but the judgment about them.”
Your judgment exists between life events and the emotions that result from those events. That’s a liberating thought. If I reflect on my life, am I a better father 20 years later? I still must prove that, and I don’t know what it feels like not to have contact with my son. Instead of judging my father, it’s wiser to ask him questions.
“Judge less and understand more” comes from that situation. I tried to withhold judgment toward my father and understand him. We began to have conversations again, which gave me freedom. My life improved, and my father and two brothers were there when I won the gold medal in Vancouver.
I felt no anger in the four years leading up to the Olympics. Instead, I felt more liberated and relaxed. That is my wish for anyone who reads The Stoic Mindset. If you judge a situation or person, it’s up to you to reflect on that judgment.
Which Stoic principle is the most challenging to adopt?
The most challenging principle to adopt is principle three, “Judge less and understand more,” because we carry judgment in our souls and hearts. If we look at the news or social media, everything is about judgment. It’s hard to understand one another; our natural system judges, and it’s not easy to counter that.
According to principle nine, “Character is your most important project.” Emotional resilience and intelligence coincide with great character, which has much to do with withholding judgment. If someone lashes out at you because of their anger, it’s your choice whether you react or not. You can only control how you react. We default to anger and fighting back in response, but there is power in choosing to do the opposite by withholding judgment, being open-minded, and having a better reaction.
Stoicism resonated with me in that type of situation. I grew up knowing that my parents loved each other, but they fought. They didn’t have the temperance or self-control to realize there were judgments and that there were wise ways to react to getting hurt.
Withholding judgment is about character and justice; it takes courage. Do you have the courage to speak out and do difficult things? Do you do the right things toward others? Are you temperate? Do you have the self-discipline to control your emotions and to work hard at what you do?
All these things tie into wisdom; and everyone can practice wisdom, not just philosophers. What’s wise and what’s not? The answer isn’t on Google or ChatGPT, but it’s something we must learn ourselves.
Is it difficult to maintain Stoic principles?
Life hits us in various ways. We lose people we love; I lost my mother. We experience challenges and setbacks, but Stoicism offers excellent guidance to navigate it all.
Stoicism isn’t ingrained in our minds and souls, but it’s something we must practice—like an athlete must train to become great. It’s the same for us emotionally and mentally. We train ourselves to use these principles and reflect on what it means to live a good life. Stoic thinking is not a dogmatic approach, but it’s inspirational. You can find a new, more mentally stable way of dealing with life’s circumstances, which will make you more resilient and emotionally intelligent.
People study philosophy because we want to try to make sense of everything and ask deeply human questions, such as, “What is a good way to live? How do I connect with other people? How can I remain calm? How do I find more joy or love in my life?”
Which Stoic principles can businesses and entrepreneurs adopt?
Entrepreneurs put everything on the line. They invest time and money; it becomes personal. When obstacles are in your path, it’s up to you to find a new direction. You shouldn’t view obstacles as the end of your career or company but see them as signposts. Then decide how to deal with them.
Entrepreneurs don’t seek a life without setbacks or an easy road because that doesn’t exist. If you want to build a great company, struggles are included. You can only ensure your team is on the right track and equipped to deal with anything.
Principle seven can also be applied: “Happiness is a side effect.” I know entrepreneurs who sold their company and wish they still had it. They desire team building; they want to climb that mountain and work together toward a great purpose while building meaningful connections. Those events constitute happiness. Happiness isn’t your identity tied to an end goal, a company, or a gold medal.
Enjoy the road, even if it’s challenging, chaotic, and when you don’t feel fit for what you’re doing. You can wake up the next day and try again. There’s a path for you, and you can use setbacks as signposts to make the right decisions.
Are there misconceptions about Stoicism?
There’s a misconception that Stoicism is strictly a personal self-help philosophy. While it has many self-help elements, that’s not all there is to it. It’s a social philosophy built for connection with other people.
The Stoics were rational creatures. There’s a rationality in how we think about business, goals, and life. We are meant to work together as our arms, hands, and fingers work together. Life isn’t about only working on yourself or diving into your philosophy; it’s about working with others, and that’s where beauty lies. Learn to connect with others by withholding your judgment, asking great questions, and being supportive. If you’re good to others, that energy will flow to you in return.
Principle four says, “What’s good for the team is good for you.” There’s no distinction between those two things. When you work on yourself, the team gets better, whether it’s customers, partners, and more.
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